||I've had some of each numbered item done to me. It did not feel good; therefore, it must have been abuse. 14 year ago
||Verbal abuse by a partner can be more damaging than physical abuse because of it's insidious nature. You are not quite sure that anything happened to be upset about because in addition to being "put down" in some manner you are talked out of it by the perpetrator who might even tell you when you are defending yourself from their aggression that you are abusing them. It's a head spinning experience and when you tell friends (if you have the self esteem to) they might not get it cause the stories are kind of vague about what happened. 14 year ago
||I was in an abusive relationship after getting divorced. My self esteem was at an all time low, and I was very vulnerable. My abuser was a man I had gone to elementary school with. He became controlling, verbally abusive, and was prone to violent outbursts. After he threw a woodstove on my car, I left him. 14 year ago
||all of the above have been part of this marriage for 18 years. 14 year ago
||All of those things are relevant to our survival. Denial of those things is like someone standing between you and survival, coping, functioning and the forms of hitting are self-explanatory. 14 year ago
||I have a husband of 17 years who we have build a company together. I take care of the books, the home, the kids, the works. Everyday he comes home about how hard he's work and what a worthless piece of shit I am. His house. His food His car. His everything. He's so pompus that he'll tell me how worthless I am as he's eating dinner I just made. He's verbally abusive and berates and belittles me on a daily basis. I own half the business and work twice as hard. He's goot to have major insecurity issues because none of it is relevant or positive. 14 year ago
||I chose the above answers because I can relate to a long family history of wives and children that were beaten by the husbands in the house holds of cousins aunts and mothers in 35 years and more that I was not old enough to live threw and see. 14 year ago
||student survey 14 year ago
||To qualify my answer of "All of the above" I'd like to comment on each number:
#1 - Witholding ANY of these things is an effort to control another individual. This is the extreme, however, and should not be confused with witholding this season's fashions from you teenager when they have a closet full of perfectly good clothes and the money needs to be spent elsewhere in the household... this would be the other extreme.
#2 - Again any of these actions, if occuring in an effort control another person is a form of abuse. However, if a mother has asked her 5-10 year-old child to stop screaming or back-sassing in public, I don't think a mild pinch is considered "abuse." But maybe that's just me.
#3 - Again, are these action an effort to control another person. If so, it's not good. 13 year ago
I have been a lurker on curezone for a couple years now and just found the survey part. I am currently divorcing, my husband for "all of the above and more". I unfortunately am all to familiar with this in past relationships too and am now in therapy. Why do I get into them? My father and husband are just alike and they say traumatic bonding is the strongest. I have known this for a long time but had got into such a weakened state being with him, I could not even think for myself. Plus I have always been financially independent, and also did not have credit but did have debt either. As soon as I became his girlfriend he did not want me to work. Said I had worked too hard all my life and just wanted me to be happy and do the things I like. He showered me with gifts, intense affection, was so nice I kept thinking this is to good to be true. Within about 2 months he started showing another side. We lived together 4 years,with me leaving several times from anywhere to 1 week to 1 month. He has done horrible things to me and i believe is a psychopath and also habitual liar. He lied to the local judge and tried to have me committed, and almost persuaded my family to help. I have now left him, have a protection order against him, and will try to get him prosecuted for filing a false report. I feel so free since keeping no contact with him (this is very important legally as well as my advice to anyone in this situation as soon as your out of it). I always before had an illusion of control on what they may do to me by communicating but that is only an illusion. With no contact he hasn't been able to twist my thinking or control me. Each day I am amazed that I got that far down and allowed someone to treat me that way. He is a maser at manipulation. I do feel he will possibly break the protective order as he does not "let anyone tell him what to do" but with this I can now protect myself from him just coming in my house and treat him just as I would anyone else who broke in. To any ladies out there in the same situation and needing courage to leave, you can do it! I am addressing this to the women as I am one and more familiar with this. I do recognize men are abused by their partners too.
I know each case is different and understand that it may seem impossible to get out but if you have to plan it out. Save money where he doesn't know, allow friends/family to help you, study the law where you live about eviction, lockout, community/non-community property if married, child support laws, temporary restraining orders to make him continue to support you if he has kept you from working and penniless. Watch your back and be aware of your surroundings after you leave or force him out. This is when they can become very violent, also when they are served, or if they see you dating. Personally I will refrain from dating because I need personal therapy to develop good boundaries, and also I don't want to bring this stuff upon anyone else now and make them a target of his hate. 13 year ago
||Been there done that for most of my life 13 year ago
||I was the victim of domestic violence in more than one relationship. 12 year ago
||I was in 2 horribly abusive marriages for 10 years each. I was exposed to all of the above abuses. I finally realized that I could not change the abuser, but had to change myself and that gave me courage to leave. My 3rd husband is very good to me, although he may smart off once in awhile, it is nothing like I'd been through before. 12 year ago
||All of those things are destructive and abusive. 11 year ago
||domestic violence is about control. The perpetrator of violence is aggressing against the victim, who is being attacked. The two people are not "engaged in a fight" as though it is 50-50. As it is about control, violence is physical, emotional, verbal, psychological, sexual. The abuser is in a position of power over the victim. 11 year ago
||Been there, done that. All of it.Got away. Lots of courage to do that.
In law school now. 5 year ago
||exactly as it sounds... there are several types of abuse.. they can occur in any situation, the office, the school, the home, etc., Also, usually the only form of abuse that is *ever* recognized is severe battery, I add the word severe because sometimes Police won't take someone seriously without enough bruising. Domestic Violence is anything within an atypical home environment.
Let's just say every thing that is clicked has been experienced by myself.
-- 9 year ago
||Blaming, name calling, threatening to hit my to the point he goes to jail and does not care. 8 year ago
||Ive been the subject of every single one of those. Going through it is a lot worse than it sounds. 6 year ago
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